ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Randomize
