I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
