it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
