Do you still have your period?
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Randomize
