Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
either way he was missing a nipple.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
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