uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
