i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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