She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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