..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
