Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
drinking out of a sandbucket again
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
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