Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Randomize
