I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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