I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize