Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
Randomize
