i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
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