I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize