just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
cat food counts as protein by the way
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
I came so hard my ears popped.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
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