so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
