she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
I puked a lego.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
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