I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Randomize
