i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Randomize
