this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
Dignity is for republicans.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Randomize
