Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Randomize
