well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
Drunk is not a location!
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Randomize
