Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
Randomize
