i need an iv and a liver transplant
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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