yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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