if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Pants are for mortals
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Randomize
