I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
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