did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
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