battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
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