Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
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