forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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