That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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