Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
