now i know why i became what i already was.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
NoShamevember. You game?
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Randomize
