Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
