Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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