I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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