The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
