Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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