Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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