Well I left you a voicemail but you probably won't be able to hear it because my mic is fucked up. I think you need to come down here and take it in for me.
I hate this phone so bad I'm going to lose all of my friends because of it
Yeah...you probably will...
well, you're marked off my christmas card list for next year.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
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