after a month anything with tits is on the radar
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
