I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
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