My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
Randomize
