Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
i now understand why vodka
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
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