I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
