I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
