Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Randomize
