Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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