Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
