Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Such a big mess for such a small penis
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
