i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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