This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
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