Pants 0. Shit 1.
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
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