Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
she woke up with a sticky ear
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Randomize
