This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
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