it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
she peed on how many people?
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
he's gonorrhea incarnate
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize